Emotions

Why is Eye Contact Important?

2008-05-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

Eye contact is one of the most powerful tools any man can use when attracting and seducing a woman. Strong eye contact is rare. If you make eye contact, you'd be surprised how quickly most people's eyes will dart away. When you make eyes with a woman, never break eye contact first. Even if it has been 10 seconds (which is an Eternity when staring into the eyes of a stranger) do NOT BREAK. If anything, at that point you could stick your tongue out or something silly to break the tension.

Strong eye contact will turn a girl on. It shows that you are comfortable with yourself and others. A true alpha male will never break eye contact first, whether it be with a man or a woman. This might be very hard for you at first, but there is a simple task you can do which will give you strong eye contact skills. Walk around and make eye contact with everyone. Never break first. If its a guy chances are he'll just look away, or if he holds it for a while usually a "whats up man" will follow as you pass. If a guy gets serious with you saying something dumb like "what are you lookin' at buddy" just say "thought you were an old friend, guess I'm wrong."

Doing this with girls is fun. Whatever reaction she gives you, you can feel free to give back. If you get a smile, give a smile. If you get a hi, give a hi. Confident girls will hold eye contact and almost always smile. Unconfident girls will look away. Work on this every day and you will have strong eye contact skills, possibly the most important tool for picking up girls.

Nathan Tyrock has spent the majority of his adult life studying social dynamics and learning the keys to being successful with women. By the time he was 22, he had already dated more beautiful women than most men will in a lifetime.
For more information, check out Nathan's book: Getting Grades and Getting Laid: The X-Rated Guide to College
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Make Women Attracted To You By Teasing Her

2008-05-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

By Johan M Krost

Women are emotional beings, different from us, men. We think more by logic, women rely more on the emotional side of things. Thats why sometimes we find it so hard to understand women. One of those things is that women is always testing us. They are always doing something that will bother us or annoy us to see how we will react. In this article i will tell you why women test guys and how you can deal with it.

One of the main reasons that women test men is to make sure that you are paying attention to her. No matter how long you are with a women, every here and there she will say something just to make sure you are paying attention to her.

Another reason is to make sure you are the a strong men. Yeah, women test us to see if we are the same strong guys that they have meet in the beginning of the relationship. Women want to be next to a strong and confident man. So the worst thing you can do with a women that is testing you is to become a 'wussie'. When she start testing you tease her and act in a confident manner. She will understand.

When a women starts making these kind of tests with you, just tell her that you are not a kid anymore and that you wont tolerate a childish attitude of her. Of course, tell her in a respectable manner, but show some confidence on yourself.

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A Simple Technique To Know If A Women Likes You

2008-05-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

By Johan M Krost

When you are in the beginning of the seduction game, it becomes quite scary to approach a girl without knowing if she likes you. It can ruin your self-esteem for some time. But for your luck, theres a simple technique that will allow you to know instantly if a girl likes you, in a few seconds. In this article i will tell how to use this very simple but effective technique to know if a girl likes you.

Do you know how eye contact is important? Only by observing the way someone makes eye contact you can say a lot about her personality. I guess you already heard that its always good to make a good eye contact. If you don't make the necessary eye contact, you are most of the times considered a shy person.

So to know if a girl likes you, you just need to briefly make eye contact with her. You dont need to stare are her, in some bizarre way. Just a simple eye contact at her with a gentle smile. If she smiles back BINGO, she likes you. Yeah, its easy as that. This technique is amazing and can save you from several rejections. Make eye contact, smile at her and see if she smiles back. If she does, go head and start a conversation with her.

This is a technique of body language. If you want to become a master seducer, you definitly need to learn body language skills. Eye contact plays a major role in the seduction game and the more info you learn about it, the better.

Catch Your Boyfriend Cheating - Get The Tools You Need Today

2008-04-09T02:18:00.000-07:00

By Veronica L

You need to catch your boyfriend cheating, it is hard to suspect your boyfriend cheating but the only way to get that aching pain and gut feeling to go away is to find out the truth. So what are some good ways to get clear evidence and catch your boyfriend cheating?

Physical evidence - A lot of times there is physical evidence just waiting to be found. Go through your boyfriend's wallet, pants or jacket pockets, his desk or dresser drawers, the wastepaper basket, his car, his office if you have the chance, his backpack and his garage anywhere you can think of where he could have left a trace. You will be surprised what you can find.

Affair with someone he knows - Studies show that a man is most likely to have an affair with someone he already knows, a woman he comes in contact with on a regular basis. This could be a neighbor, a coworker, a family friend or business associate or possible somebody at the gym or club he goes to regular. If you pay close attention when you are around other women you might find out whom he is cheating with by the way he behaves in her presence, or possibly how this particular woman behaves around your boyfriend.

Surprise visit - Give your boyfriend a surprise visit, drop by his work with lunch one day. Or maybe he has to work over time swing by with dinner; if he is there he is going to love the dinner, if he is not there, it might be a sign.

Credit card bills - Check your boyfriend`s credit card bill for suspicious purchases, restaurant visits, hotel visits, women gifts that are bought but you never received any. You can also check where he filled his car up with gas is this in an area he is not supposed to be in?

Computer spyware - If your boyfriend is cheating he is most likely communicating with his lover on his computer and cell phone. He could be sending emails, chat or IM her. If you get a computer spyware you will be able to find out exactly what your boyfriend writes in his emails, whom he is writing and whom he receives e-mails from. You will see exactly what is going on when your boyfriend is on his computer. You can install it on his computer without him ever noticing it and check everything from your own computer.

Cell phone - If you have a suspicious phone number that has been calling your boyfriend or you know he has been calling, you can find out whom that number belongs to by using a phone lock up.
Stop the anger and worrying today, stop the tears and do yourself a favor, catch your boyfriend cheating.
For more ideas on how to catch your boyfriend cheating visit us NOW and catch your boyfriend cheating!
Veronica L is a successful freelance writer and the owner of Is My Man Cheating? Get The Tools And Find Out Right Here
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Signs Of Cheating Men - Find Out If Your Man Is Cheating

2008-04-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

By Veronica L

You are suspecting your man cheating? Sorry you have to go through that. Some signs of cheating men are very obvious and clear but it is still hard to see them, sometimes people just don't want to see the signs. You, have taken a step in the right direction, you are one step closer to find out the truth. Is your husband or boyfriend just going thru a face maybe a crises, is his behavior changing for a reason that can be explained or is he actually cheating on you. Find out the truth!

Lack of communication - Did you use to talk about anything and everything but all of a sudden you do not communicate at all?

Distance in relationship - Does your husband make you feel like the distance in your relationship is your fault? Things you say or do or don`t? Could be that he is feeling guilty and are trying to blame you for his cheating. Remember this is not your fault.

Laundry - He all of a sudden wants to do his own laundry.

After work activities - Is he all of a sudden doing things after work that he did not use to do, religious meetings, meeting friends that he never used to see or talk about?
"Work" phone - Did he all of a sudden get a "work" cell phone, you never see the bill, he might even have it sent to the office or he is paying it online.

Phone calls on odd hours - If your husband gets phone calls at odd hours and if you are around he does not answer could be a sign that somebody that is not suppose to call is.

Did you meet online? - Maybe you met your husband or boyfriend online, did he brake his old habit of "flirting" online or is he still doing it.
Free e-mail account - Did he put up a free e-mail account, yahoo or hotmail possibly that he can check from anywhere, and he was trying to hide it... Did you before have one e-mail account together, but recently he "kindly" set you up with separate ones.

Nervous around the computer - Is your husband or boyfriend staying up late, long after you have gone to bed, to chat and email somebody? If you walk in on him he quickly minimize the screen? And he has that guilty look on his face.

Deep inside I am sure you know the truth, I am not saying that your husband is cheating but if all the signs of cheating men are there and your gut feeling are telling you that something is going on, you need to find out what it is.
Get The Tools To Find Out The Truth, Today!
Veronica L is a successful freelance writer and the owner of Is My Man Cheating? Get The Tools To Find Out Right Here
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Once A Cheater Always A Cheater? - How To Curb Your Cheating Ways

2008-04-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

By Doug Young and Christina Young

Think cheating is in your blood? Nonsense! Your cheating ways can be changed and eventually, stopped. Here's how:

Recognize your weaknesses.
We all have triggers - things, events and people that cause us to cheat. Once you recognize these, particularly the ones you are most vulnerable to, you'll have a better chance to avoid them.

Determine what you value most.
Cheating can cost you a lot if you let it rule your life. If you ever feel the need to cheat, think about who and what you might lose in the process - your family, your friends, even your job.
If you love someone enough, that should be sufficient reason not to hurt them. Imagine how things would be if you cheated and hurt your loved one. Can you handle the repercussions and the aftermath? If not, do the decent thing.

Avoid temptation
If you find someone attractive, recognise the feeling, see it as a warning sign and make a point of not doing anything about it. Don't try to get to know that person just because you're attracted to them. If you don't get to know them you won't start getting feelings for them, you won't get emotionally involved and you won't end up in the middle of an affair.

Nurture your relationship.
If you've been blessed with a great relationship, you really don't have any reason to cheat. Don't just expect your partner to do all the work, though. It takes two to tango. The stronger your relationship, the more satisfied you'll be.

Above all remember that nothing in the world can make you change - only you can make that decision. If you would like some further help, here's what you must do next...
Sign up straight away for our free reports Infidelity: How To Prevent It and How to Keep Your Relationship Honest which are part of our free 8 part mini series all about infidelity in your relationship or marriage.
Doug and Christina Young are Relationship Coaches who really can walk the talk, having survived infidelity in their own marriage and come out of it much stronger http://www.askdougandchris.com/
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How Falling in Love is Like Having a New Puppy

2008-04-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

By Cherry Norris

The night before Valentine's Day, my husband, Lorenzo, walked up the stairs carrying a small bundle of fur.

Looking up from my computer, I asked, "What's that? Is it stuffed? Is it alive?" Lorenzo set the "fluff ball" on the floor. It barely moved. I couldn't see his eyes for all the hair. But I knew. It's a dog. (OMG!)

I could not believe Lorenzo did that. I could not believe he bought us a new puppy! (Talk about taking a risk!) But within the first week, I realized having a new puppy is very much like falling in love.

1. It's Unexpected
Just like talking about falling in love, you never really expect it when it happens. Falling in love is what you'll do someday. When you meet the right person. When you have all your affairs in order. Or after the next trip... Then you meet him and all your plans go out the window.
I couldn't speak when Lorenzo bought me a dog. We had talked about getting a dog. Someday. But here it was. Live. Real. In-person.
Meeting Biscuit wasn't a WOW moment like..."Oh WOW! I'm so excited!" And I'm running around screaming, "Oh WOW!" It was more like, "Oh. Wow. Oh. Wow. Oh. Hell. Oh. Wow." This is OUR dog.
This is it. This is what "Love" is? Oh. Wow.

2. It's Obnoxious
Like a couple kissing and fondling each other in public, not caring who's watching because they're sooooo in love...having a new puppy is just as down right obnoxious.
I've never been one of those "dog people". They're so obnoxious about their animals. Until now. Now, I'm an obnoxious "dog person". And I don't care who sees it. I want to show "my love" to everyone. Oh, how happy we are! Isn't he cute? I share stories of our meeting with strangers. (Happy sigh.) It's obnoxious. It's really, really obnoxious.

3. It's Terrifying
In the beginning, "Love" is so fabulous. It's so new. It's so exciting!
And then you realize you have to live in real life. And "Love" has needs. But you don't know what they are, because you've just met. You don't know each other at all. You don't know what he's thinking. And that's when the terror hits. And just like falling in love, you realize no matter how much you think you're prepared, you're not.
I've entertained the notion of having a dog. I like the idea of a loyal companion accompanying me on my walks. I like the idea of something cute looking up at me. I like the IDEA of having a dog. But the reality is I know NOTHING about raising a puppy. I have no idea how to take care of it! What if I screw it up? What if I kill it?
I told Lorenzo he couldn't go back to work until the puppy was an adult. He couldn't leave me alone with Biscuit! It was terrifying. (Lorenzo did leave me alone with Biscuit. I'm fine now.) (In case you were wondering.)

4. It's Difficult to Say "NO"
Just like saying "NO" to having sex too soon, it was just as difficult to say "NO" to Biscuit when he wanted to jump on the sofa. I really, really wanted him to come to me. It would be great to cuddle with him on the sofa, but it was our second day. I had to say "NO". Jumping on furniture is not a habit I want to encourage.
Friends couldn't believe my willpower. Most of them said, "You'll give in. You can't resist. You'll have to have him with you on your sofa." But I knew if I let him have his way from the beginning, I'd pay for it in the long-run. I knew he wouldn't respect me. I knew he'd walk all over me. Spoiled.
And I knew that once I said "YES" it would be very, very difficult to say "NO" again. If ever. (Okay, I admit...I've let him up a few times, but...not EVERY time!:))

5. It's Work, but It's So Worth It
Like a romantic relationship, having a new puppy is a lot of work. You have to tend it. It takes time. You have another responsibility in your life. With someone who has their own ideas and opinions about things.
But you're committed. And it's a priority.
With Biscuit, we bathe him, feed him, walk him, poo him, brush him, medicate him and take him to the vet.
And like a typical man, Biscuit is always in our business. He wants to be a part of everything! And I love it.
He's so joyful. And playful. And adorable. (Everyone thinks so!) He's so good. (Everyone says so!) And soooo sweet. (Everyone loves him!) (I warned you..."It's obnoxious!")
And I'm such a Proud Mama. (I've never heard myself say that before!) And although I've never experienced childbirth, I imagine holding a new baby must evoked similar sentiments. Falling in love...is so worth it!
Here's to the "Loves" in your life!

Cherry Norris is a renowned celebrity dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. Based in Los Angeles, California, Cherry is an official dating coach for Cupid's Coach matchmaking service and the relationship expert on Catherine Oxenberg's TV pilot, Practical Princess. Cherry has lead workshops around the US and on cruises to Mexico and Alaska. She has been featured in The LA Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Divine Caroline, and Women's World.

Cherry's passion is helping people build healthy, intimate romantic relationships. Under her direction, you will learn the skills and techniques for dating that will have you starring in the role of a lifetime opposite the co-star you've been waiting for!
For FREE Dating Directions newsletter and event calendar, GO HERE:
Dating Directions Newsletter
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The God Given Gift of Love

2008-04-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

By Thomas Cummins

Cupid is going on strike because humans have lost the essence of what this beautiful word means and when people dared to fall in love in the good old times, before the word 'love' disappeared from young people's vocabulary and was replaced by the 'f' word. Actually it is not confined to young people alone and it is really an epidemic plagued throughout all ages but alas what shall we do?

Ah it would appear that the public at large are greatly influenced by TV and movies and so we shall cling to these two media entities for improving and reaching out to the world at large. Judging by the movies that are not making it to the box office and are somewhat low budget movies but have a more moral theme than the blockbusters there is reason for hope.

Curiously enough when one peruses videos on You Tube etc and read the comments regarding certain romantic tunes one finds cries of pleading even for younger audiences who seek a more traditional value system with movies etc so maybe hope does spring eternal. Romance is alive and well and kicking many hearts into waves of tempestuous beatings but it seems to end when intimacy becomes less guarded and then a take for granted attitude seeps in and that is a pity really for the people involved are still the same two as before but it is all in their attitude.

Love is a gift that we should value as if was a currency assuming an oncoming termination or maybe it should be placed on the endangered species list and then maybe the world may take a higher point of interest in its preservation.

This article is a response to a few couples I have come across who stopped paying attention to each other and became too comfortable forgetting each others needs. Normally it is one whose needs are not being met and the other is oblivious and conversation is never deep enough to broach the real subject that needs talking about.

During this time it does not take a rocket scientist to realize that a certain attention coming from another source could spell a ton of trouble and lo and behold it often does and then disaster strikes and all too late the flowers are sent, the dinners are made the attention is given but it is way too late and impervious armor is in place. The attorneys are visited and soon the judge signs the divorce agreements and then it is ended.
E-N-D-E-D

The God given gift is to be cherished and one is never promised a bed of roses or a life without upsets because all the turmoils in the world make us into better characters but we must realize not to lock our partners out. Partners is the operative word because it means working in unison and harmony for the betterment of the partnership and so it follows that when a partner is shut out the partnership ends.

Give your love the attention he or she deserves and rekindle the love that brought you together and remember the starry night when both your eyes were twinkling like moonbeams across a sea of hope and love each other 'till the day you both shall die. Dia Dhuit

Thomas is an entrepreneur / motivational / inspirational seeker for a better way of life for one and all to enjoy. We all have queries to all kinds of topics and my aim in writing is to motivate and inspire and I would appreciate your comments and do let me know if I have delivered on the promise I made in my article title and if you found this article of particular interest. Thank you, have a magical day and week. e-mail @ incaalpacatrail@hotmail.com
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Finding Love in All the Right Places

2008-04-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

By Gina Lake

Because we want love on our terms, many of us don't find it, or what we get is a person and relationship that matches our conditioning as much as possible. This kind of relationship is not necessarily the one that will make us the happiest, oddly enough. The ego thinks it knows best about relationships and will settle for nothing less than what it wants, but what it wants is just not a good guide for happiness.

This is a profound and not-so-obvious truth: What we want in relationships is not always what will make us the happiest. Following our desires is not the key to happiness. It is what we think will make us happy, but it isn't what actually makes us happy.

Happiness lies in being aligned with essence, our true nature. When we are identified with essence rather than with the ego, we feel all of the things the ego is looking for but pursuing in inept ways: happiness, joy, love, peace, and contentment. This is really all we-and the ego-want. It is just that the ego has a different way of trying to get these things than essence. From essence, getting is not required, only being. Happiness, joy, love, peace, and contentment are not arrived at by trying to get them but by noticing that they are already here. Just check: Is love here now? Noticing these qualities draws you into the experience of them.

To align yourself with essence and experience love and the other qualities of essence, all you have to do is notice love. When you notice love, you are in a sense choosing it over the ego's ideas, and that brings you into identification with the you that loves. This you-the real you-lives for love and is not dissuaded from it by ideas or judgments or differences. It loves because it sees similarities, not differences. It sees how others are like itself-how others are itself. From essence, we experience Oneness and unity with all life, and from this place it is easy to love.

Judgments keep us under the ego's spell. The ego keeps us entranced with its ideas by making them seem important and by making the fulfillment of our desires seem necessary for happiness. It convinces us that what we think and desire are more important than they are. We think we must have life and others match our ideas to be happy, safe, and secure, and this just is not true. However, as long as we believe this, either consciously or unconsciously, we will be under the ego's spell and we will not find happiness.

Our opinions about how life and how others should be seem really important. We are convinced that these ideas matter, and they don't. Does it really matter, if your husband eats with his mouth open or your wife wears too much makeup? It matters to your ego because you think these things make you look bad. We imagine all sorts of terrible things happening as a result, particularly rejection from others. We give more importance to our fear of rejection than is reasonable. Rejection to the ego seems like a life and death matter, which it isn't, of course.

Notice how the ego is very uncomfortable with doing anything or having the partner do anything that doesn't match its conditioning. It gets uncomfortable, scared, angry, ashamed, and embarrassed when its conditioned rules about how to live are broken by you or anyone who might reflect on you. The next time you feel an urge to judge your partner, examine the conditioning that lies behind your judgment. Behind every judgment lies a "should" or a "should not." What "should" or "should not" are you imposing on your partner? Notice how your judgment is an attempt to get your partner to change his or her behavior so that you don't have to feel uncomfortable.

When others do things we don't like because of our conditioning, we feel scared, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. When you feel these feelings, a judgment is probably not far behind. The judgment that arises out of these feelings is an attempt to change the partner and ease any discomfort. Watch this process. It is interesting to see how predictable it is, and it is a good way to become more aware of your own conditioning and to take responsibility for it.

It is not your partner's responsibility to change just because you have conditioning that demands that. Your wanting your partner to change is not enough reason for him or her to change, although the ego thinks it is and tries to manipulate by claiming "If you loved me, you would change." If you want a loving relationship, you have to take responsibility for your conditioning and the feelings generated by it and choose to give up your judgments and attempts to change your partner.

When you do this, you will discover what true love is because your partner will love you for being so loving, accepting, and allowing. There is nothing that opens someone's heart more than someone with an open heart. Conversely, there is nothing that closes someone's heart more than someone with a closed heart-and that means someone who is judging.

Copyright © 2007 Gina Lake, excerpted from Choosing Love
Gina Lake has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and over twenty years experience as an astrologer and a channel. She is the author of several books, including Radical Happiness, Anatomy of Desire, Choosing Love, Getting Free, Living Your Destiny, and Return to Essence. Gina is available for astrological and channeled phone consultations that support awakening and living a conscious life. For more info, to order her books, to read excerpts, or to download the free e-book: Radiance: Experiencing Divine Presence, please visit http://www.radicalhappiness.com/
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Male-Female Friendship

2008-04-02T18:35:00.000-07:00

By Bakshinder Singh

The Indian culture is yet to come to terms when it comes to friendship between a Male and Female.The initial reaction is that of a wide eyed hawk looking for a scoop in it. Although, we have shown tremendous growth on social and economic front however our minds are yet to respond positively to this relationship. In the West, which is a yardstick for many of us, the friendship is just viewed as a greater and comfortable interaction between two persons. It does not matter much whether the concerned people are both males both females or male and female. I think we need to awaken up to this reality of life where this kind of friendship needs to be viewed with a positive frame of mind.

All our mythologicals have mostly mentioned about the friendship between males only. So, this mentality owes its inception to this period.The changing times could hardly reverse the trend. The male dominated society continued to guide the destiny of the people with this mentality. It's a fact that most of the kings had a harem of women for their pleasure but we are yet to come across one queen who had this kind of facility for her.

Anyway, we are not advocating the need of harems but highlighting the need for positive and healthy friendship between male and females. Following wrongs doesn't make us right so whatever wrongs we follow needs to be amended. Even the Indian constitution since its inception has recorded several amendments. So why cant the society change its line of thinking? It is needed.

Unlike the mythological age of kings, the men need to be more tolerant, understanding and have a broader perspective of life. If a female member of the family is friends with a male member there is no need to bring the house down. Just as men like to have friends similarly it is the requirement of females. If we don't accept this harsh reality of life, we shall be in trouble sooner or later.

Newton, the great scientist, needs to be complimented for realizing this while jotting down his laws of motion. He says "To every action there is equal and opposite reaction"and we find this being followed in daily life today. A gal today wants to know that if her male member of the family can have a female friend why cant she have a male friend? Logically, she is correct. If you want her to follow you don't do any indecent thing so that one can hold his head high while preaching others.

The root cause of this is our sick minded mentality which views the women as an object of sex only. We tend to forget the love, warmth, affection, care, glamor, decency, patience, kindness, gerosity etc she brings with her. On the other hand, men are capable of contributing by way of adventurism, enthusiasm, calmness, and ability to handle all odd situations, giving the feeling of protectiveness to women etc. Don't we feel if we sum up all these qualities we can have a complete human being who would be an asset to any society at any time?

Male female friendship goes beyond the physical attractions. I feel its an individuals perception of viewing a situation. A half glass of water is half empty for some and half full for others. In other words its the way of looking up to situations from different angles. I have known some people who during the course of their work struck decent, meaningful, satisfying mutually beneficial friendship with the members of opposite sex. They love, adore and cherish it . How can such a friendship be put to acid test and tell me one person on earth who would not like to cultivate this kind of friendship? I think the evil minds need some repairs by jolting with heavy hammers in the head. I hope they don't die during this activity.

A male getting attracted to a female and vice versa is nothing new. Its a natural phenomenon.The laws of magnetism have clearly spelled them." Like poles repel each other and unlike poles attract each other". Moreover, look how anxious one is while waiting for a friend of opposite sex over a cup of coffee and some delicious meal. I don't think the coffee or the meal contribute much to their happiness than just the feeling of togetherness. They tend to put on the best of behaviors, the best of dresses to impress each other. The tensions of this modern world are released through this outlet and discussions are mostly constructive. All things are done decently because thats the basic requirement.
bakshinder@hotmail.com
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How To Overcome Loneliness - 15 Techniques That Work Like A Charm

2008-04-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

By Richard Hamon

Everyone feels lonely at one time or another. And it can be hard to make new friends in today's troubled and unpredictable world. The friends and acquaintances we have may be so busy and preoccupied they don't even notice how lonely we are. We may not tell them how we feel because we don't want to bother anyone. So . . . we suffer in silence.

What's a person to do?
Well, if you find yourself sitting at home - alone - and feeling sorry for yourself, simply try a few of these 15 tricks to decrease loneliness and make new friends. They have worked for many of my clients, and they will work for you.

15 Sure-Fire Techniques

1. Look through your address book or think of old relationships which you might revive. Even if you've lost your job, you can contact a few of your previous co-workers and arrange to meet them for lunch or a social outing. Stay in touch and keep those relationships going.

2. Keep up any current relationships, as well . . . stay in touch with your friends and associates.

3. Use your hobbies and interests as a springboard for meeting new people.
Let's say you keep tropical fish. You can join the local aquarium club and faithfully attend their meetings. Join the chess club or a writer's group. When you are at a meeting, go out of your way to initiate conversations. In time, relationships will follow.
In the small town where I live there is a drawing club, and people who enjoy sketching and drawing get together once or twice a month to do what they love. And there is an art guild, consisting of local artists who give one another support and encouragement.
Whatever you like to do, you can find a club or organization which can be of help to you in meeting new friends.

4. Volunteer your time.
No matter where you may live, there is probably an animal shelter that needs volunteers to help care for the homeless pets.
Our local newspaper ran a story last week about a man who lost his job, so he volunteered at the animal shelter. He made lots of animal and people friends and soon became the director of the shelter. And now he has a new life which he absolutely loves!
In nearly every community there are nursing homes where lonely, aging and sick people reside.
I know people who take their therapy pets to nursing homes and group homes for homeless children, where they allow their pets to minister unto the elderly and sick, to touch people's lives. I know others who take gift baskets to nursing homes. And others who play music for those who are handicapped or bedfast.

5. Take your dog to obedience class.
You'll meet other dog owners and you can participate in fun meets and obedience trials. Note: Avoid using your pet as a substitute for human companionship.

6. Go to your house of worship and get involved.
There will be programs you can participate in and people to meet, classes to join and special services to attend. You'll find caring people who can help you to make new friends and connections.

7. Find someone in your life to help in some way.
Offer your assistance. Give of your time. You'll get closer to those you are helping and, chances are, you'll meet others in the process.

8. Visit your local coffee shop and join in the conversations, when the opportunity presents itself.
Get to know the employees and customers, and let them get to know you. Stop in on a regular basis, and soon you'll have a home away from home, where you can always be a part of a good social setting.

9. Read the local newspaper.
You'll feel more a part of the world by keeping up with current events. And there are always stories about local groups and organizations which may be of interest to you, and offer you an opportunity to meet people.

10. Offer to teach a class or workshop at the local YMCA or community education center.
Chances are, you have a skill or area of expertise that others are interested in learning. You'll enjoy the social contact you'll experience.

11. Inquire about membership in a civic organization.
There are many worthwhile organizations that may be of interest to you. Ask if you can sit in on a meeting to decide if you'd like to join.

12. Participate in chat rooms and blogs on subjects of your interest, and keep up with others on the Internet.

13. Take a part-time job in a restaurant or other business where you can meet and serve people and take an interest in other employees.

14. Avoid being a stranger.
Go out of your way to introduce yourself to others and show an interest in them. Wherever you go, take your best (and most outgoing) personality along with you . . . and use it to interact with people. Research says that outgoing people are less lonely than others.
For example, if you go to a nearby walking track, which is frequented by lots of people in your community . . . instead of keeping to yourself and avoiding social contact, speak to other walkers and enter into conversations with them.
Going there several times a week will allow you to keep up your new relationships with others who exercise and to continually meet new people.
You don't have to be an extravert to let your light shine and befriend others. In turn, they will be friends to you.

15. Go where you are needed. Serve others. Give your love. Help someone in need. Make someone's day. Make something good happen.
Good deeds always come back to us in surprising ways. They open doors for us in their own good time. As you open your arms to others, you'll develop a kinship with many people. Soon you'll feel less lonely. And you'll be a part of others' lives in a most significant and important way.
Sometimes the hardest part about being lonely is feeling so down in the dumps you just can't imagine a possible solution.

What do do?
First, don't give into negative thoughts or expectations. Instead, think positively.
And second, do something! Act! Don't allow yourself to sit around and complain. Get up and make something happen. Just do it! Go and initiate a conversation. Do something worthwhile.
If you follow this plan, and remember to forget about being lonely and stop focusing your energy on it, you'll soon find that your loneliness will disappear.
Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with over 25 years of experience. His business, Relationships For Success Coaching, helps people to improve their relationships and enjoy success in all areas of their lives.

Richard has written a unique eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution: How Secrets Discovered From A Near Death Experience Can Help You Ignite Passion and Realize Success in All Your Relationships. The eBook tells about an actual Near Death Experience the author had in 2003, which transformed his life and led to a series of insights, revelations and secrets about relationships.
You can find Richard's eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution at: LINKED TEXT
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Defining The Limits of Friendship

2008-04-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

By Daniel B Scott

The proverb, "There are always two sides to every coin." refers to the fact that there is more than one way to look at everything? From this concept you can create one of the main presuppositions of life; behaviors are not good or bad, rather they're useful or un-useful in the moment. People sometimes seem to forget that last part.

The fact is that every behavior is useful in the right situation. With the right point of view you can see how something that is limiting in one way can be rewarding in another. A common example of this is the goal of putting no expectations on people in a relationship. It's very true that it would be nice if we could live free of expectations - however, it doesn't work that way.
Some sense of predictability creates feelings of understanding, safety and control over one's life. This includes relationships. We have certain criteria to determine friendship and, whether we want to admit it or not, expectations and criteria go hand-in-hand. The criteria we have to identify a friend are what we expect from them. Some common criteria include things like trust, honesty, compassion, etc.
I

f we add the awareness that criteria can be ordered in a priority sequence then some things we can allow ourselves to be flexible on and others we can not. If a person dislikes a certain type of music upon meeting them, then setting that as an expectation in the relationship will "pigeonhole" them. That expectation is an un-useful limitation on the friendship because it does not take into account that people's preferences can grow and change with time. Concepts more important than taste in music, such as trust, we can be less flexible about because if a friend does something to lose our trust in them (such as lie, steal, abandon, hurt, etc.), then the dynamics of the friendship can change drastically.

Even though a person can recognize a behavior may be useful in a different situation - in the immediate circumstances it may be un-useful, resulting in damage to the relationship. Admittedly it's not so black and white; some behaviors may hurt you, however you'll accept that it was not done with malice, rather it was unintentional. When a person repeats that behavior in spite of the fact it harms the relationship then there will reach a point where "I'm sorry" becomes insulting.

With all this in mind the questions we want to consider are; Can you allow your expectations of someone to be flexible on the minor issues while still asserting your values on the real important points?; Can we accept that people change while still being careful that those changes don't go against our own highly valued criteria for friendship?; Is it possible to accept someone for who they are today and expect that things may change tomorrow, while at the same time, know that it's okay to expect certain core components (such as trust, honesty, etc.) will remain somewhat consistent?

Daniel Scott, Msc.D, NLP.T, RCHt. Soaring Success Personal Excellence Verbal Self Defense Tactics
Mr. Scott is a professional NLP trainer and coach from Victoria, BC. His background includes a degree in Metaphysical Science and certifications in Reality Therapy, Choice Theory as well as training in meditation and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Daniel is a Neuro Linguistic Programming Trainer fully certified by the University of NLP at the University of California Santa Cruz. His company, Soaring Success Personal Excellence Coaching, has been offering individual and organizational development coaching and training for over 7 years.
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Can Men be Friends With Their Ex-girlfriends?

2008-04-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

By Chris Dreyer

Most people dread the phrase "can we just be friends" as it usually signifies the end of a relationship. While this question is one of the classic breakup lines, it is a statement that should be carefully considered before embarking on the relationship to friendship transition. Before jumping blindly from a relationship to a friendship there are many important things to consider and you should be fully prepared to manage the relationship differently without getting your feelings hurt.

Before you commit to "just being friends" you should evaluate your intentions and make sure you are not setting yourself up for disaster. Remaining friends with an ex who was a friend before, or remaining friends because you have a genuine connection and shared interests are good reasons to make the transition. Being friends with an ex in hopes that you will get back together, or to keep tabs on then or to seek revenge are reasons that will certainly lead to disaster. If you have good intentions and a genuine connection with your ex then pursuing a friendship can be a good idea.

You should also consider the value of your ex's friendship and make sure they will add value to your life. Neither of you will benefit if you remain friends for the wrong reasons. Too many people have friends and acquaintances that do not add any positive energy to their lives and it is important that you look at all of your ex's qualities and make sure they will positively impact your life. If your ex has traits that will not help you to be a happy and healthy person, then you will probably be better off without them. Make a mental list of all the good and bad qualities they possess and make sure their friendship will be a valuable and healthy one.

Going from boyfriend to friend can work, but if you focus too much on the friendship of harbor intentions other than platonic ones, you are setting yourself up for disaster. If you decide to go the friendship route you should make sure that you are not expecting anything more to happen. It is important to give yourself time to heal and move on, even if you are remaining friends with your ex. Don't rely too much on your friendship to help you heal, get out and do things, meet new people, and move on with your life.

If you do decide to be friends with your ex-girlfriend, make sure you set ground rules and then stick too them. Setting boundaries before you continue your relationship as friends will help you to avoid making mistakes that you will regret and will further complicate your friendship. If pursuing a friendship is important to both of you then you should both decide what types of interactions are appropriate and do your best to make sure that the lines you set are not crossed. Keeping your relationship positive and platonic is the key to success, so be sure to set the boundaries you both need to make this possible.

Click here to discover the most powerful technique to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-an-ex-girlfriend-back
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7 Love Questions to Ask Your Partner

2008-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

By Lucy Doyle One of the most fun ways to get to know your romantic partner is to ask love questions. In this way you can learn things about your partner which you might have not known otherwise.

Here are 7 Love Questions To Ask Your Partner

1. When did you fall in love with me - It's always nice to know the exact moment your partner fell in love with you. It can really get your heart racing like mad to hear your partner describe his or her feelings at the exact moment of falling in love.

2. What is the thing your partner loves the most about you - You may find out that a certain body part drives your partner wild and you would have never known about it. It can really get you to feel sexy to know this. This is a great love question to ask your partner.

3. Did your partner like you instantly - A lot of people have a first impression of their partner which wasn't so hot, and only later did they start to like them. It's really fun to know how far your partner's impression of you changed with the time you spent together.

4. If you had a lot of money, where would we go on vacation - It's nice to fantasize about going on a long romantic vacation together with your partner and to dream about a time when you both become rich, and who knows? Perhaps some day it will be true.

5. What is your major dream - This question is a great way to really know the love of your life. Knowing your partner's dreams is knowing them deeply.

6. Have you ever lied to me and if so, why? - Don't worry if you find out that your partner told you a small lie at the beginning of your relationship. Use this question to get a clean slate from now on.

7. Do you see us together in another year, 3 years, 5 or so? - Don't ask this question right at the beginning of the relationship to avoid stressing your partner out, but once you're steady, it's nice to know how your partner feels about a future with you.
These 7 love questions to ask your partner are best asked over a light conversation, perhaps with a bottle of wine between you to keep things light.

To learn more fun questions for couples, click here: 1000 Questions For Couples And More. Lucy Doyle is writer of relationship issues. To read her review of must-read relationship and romance books, click here: The Best Romance Books For Couples.
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The 5 Reasons Why People Stop Believing Their Soul Mates Are Out There

2008-03-28T20:05:00.001-07:00

By John H Valentine Each and every time we break up our idea of a "soul mate" dies just a little. When we fall in love, we are convinced that we have found our one and only partner. However, when we break up, rather than admitting that we were mistaken about the identity of that person being our one and true love, it is easier to accept that such things are a myth. Also, if we are the person who was dumped, it is easier not to believe in them than to accept the fact that we were dumped by our possible soul mate!

The energy, time, and money we need to find a soul mate are enormous. Most of us do not have those resources to find them. Rather, we will tend to lower our standards and compromise on the best person we can find: "Mr/Mrs Right Now" rather than "Mr/Mrs Right". It will drive most of us crazy to realize the thought that we have committed our life to that one person who is not what they should be.

We know that we need to find and get that person but we feel it would be far too risky to sacrifice our savings or mortgage our house to buy a nationally run advert to find that one person. So, to reduce emotional distress and prevent possible financial risk, we abandon our beliefs about them being out there, and learn to live without that true love. Eventually, many of us will get tired of this "half-ass" or "practical" love and get divorced.
The presence of children can also "kill" the idea of us finding a true partner. Those of us with children will offer the excuse that we are "living for the children" and we will pour all of our attention and love into that bond rather than looking for the one person out there who can share the load.

If we don't have children or pets to look out for then our soul mate can become our job. Longer hours at the office, amongst our colleagues, seems to fill that hole in our lives. "Married to the Job" rather than "Married to the Mob"
So, break-ups, resources, risk, children and work are the five reasons for people stopping the belief that their soul mates are out there just waiting in the wings.

John H Valentine is an author of various articles on finding those one true partners we all know are out there. To follow the series please look out for further articles.
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Your Perfect Woman

2008-03-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

By Terry Leslie

No matter how young at heart you are, as you mature you will eventually long for a longer term relationship.

Long term relationships means that you now have accepted the responsibility to stay monogamous. There is no more fooling around with other women and being on the look out for another woman, especially if you are with her.

However, being monogamous does not mean that you have lost your freedom. Freedom is in the mind. But if you feel that you have lost your freedom, you need to question if it is your woman who is the insecure one and constantly needs the re-assurance and requirement that you to be there 24/7 OR indeed you are not ready for being one hearted.

Being in a monogamous relationship is very different and special to the usual, multiple relationships. Building a true one on one bond with the woman you love is special.
From speaking to many women, I have found that women do try to change their man. But you may need to see them trying to make changes for the better, such as making us pick after ourselves. We men however, I have been told need to accept their woman as they are. We too can change them, but eventually they will become the woman that we longer have passion for.

Ask yourself if the woman you love will let you continue to have your own identity, appreciating your family and friends that you have, and not bad mouthing them. If she doesn't, you may need to re-assess the situation and have a serious chat and think. Long term, there will be a problem if this persists.

Being a man, we all have grand dreams and plans. That's just our nature. Does your woman support your dream? Or does she want you to constantly go out with her friends or take cooking classes with her?

Finally, one of the most important things I have found to maintain the passion in the relationship over the long term is to make sure you continue as if you are still dating. Always remember what you did when you were dating. From opening the car door for them, to the love notes and romantic candle lit dinners.

That way, passion is always alive and you will no longer be looking around for another woman to spice up your life as there is no need...

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free eBook titled "Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women". I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It's a must read.

Download it from; http://www.secrets2datingsuccess.com/
Terry Leslie is a successful and world renowned authority figure on creating and maintaining successful relationships. A much sought after global speaker in the areas of intimate relationships, self-improvement and human peak potential training.
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10 Things You Can Do To Get A Man To Commit To You

2008-03-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

By Steve Ubah

Here are the ten things that you must do if you want to ensure that your man gets more serious about committing his heart and soul to you:

1. Do not rush him into a serious relationship with you. The more you push, the more he will pull away.

2. No matter how much you may love spending time with your man, plan a little away from him every now and then. Having this separation can give him time to realize how important you are. Remember that old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

3. Leave small reminders of yourself around his house. Do not go over board and leave so much of your stuff at his house that he start feeling like you are trying to force your way into his house without his permission.

4. If you have not heard from him all day, do not sit around waiting for him to call you. Go out and do something, this often helps guys realize that you do still have other things going on in your life.

5. Remain as aloof as possible about your future together. Men are so used to having women bombard them with questions about where their relationship is headed that they find it refreshing when you seem not to be too interested in settling down.

6. Remember to tell him every now and then how much he means to you, but make it special. Telling a man everyday that you care about him has a way of cheapening how you feel about him.

7. If you get the opportunity to meet his family, do not put yourself forward as the possible future in-law. Getting the family to like and respect you for who you are is an important step. If they think you are pushing your way into his life too soon they will become a barrier.

8. There is a delicate balance that you must learn to keep between maintaining your independence and being part of a relationship. Make sure that while you still go out and do your own thing, every now and then let him know that you also want to spend time with him.

9. Be respectful of his friends and his time with them. All boyfriends have that one friend you wish they did not hang out with, but pointing out his flaws over and over again is only going to drive a wedge between the two of you, and not him and his friend.

10. Let him do the chasing. Men value women they chase more than those that chase them.

To find out the quickest way to make your man fall madly in love with you, visit http://smartwomansguide.com. You will get proven tips, tricks and techniques you can use to make your love sizzle and make your man fall head over heels in love with you.

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Five Secrets to Stop Fighting and Ignite Passion, Love and Romance

2008-03-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

By Annie B Lawrence

It took me two divorces to learn to fight fair and not shut down and push love away. I now have a wonderful loving relationship and celebrated my seventeenth anniversary on Valentine's Day. Follow tools that took me over forty years to acquire-and recapture your passion, romance, and love.

What do you do when you feel hurt and your mate is pushing your buttons? I learned to shut down and go into my cave. John Gray's best seller Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus says that this is the man's role, but I found myself in my cave before I knew I had reacted. This is not a healthy way to deal with conflict and it won't get you the love you want. These three steps empower you to heat up your bedroom and recapture passion, and romance.

1. Make love a priority and give up your old habits. In order to stay in control of your habits and your emotions you must stay present, and be conscious of your learned behaviors and reactions.

2. Create a vision of what you want. Once you know what you want you are empowered to build a foundation to support it.

3. Spend fifteen minutes a day focusing on what you love about your mate. Remember the fun and the good times and develop a habit of releasing the things that bug you.

4. Make your own happiness and growth a priority. You cannot be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy yourself.

5. Stay current with your emotions. A pot that builds up heat will eventually explode. Let the steam off often and learn to vent your emotions in a gentle and loving way.

For more great tools to keep your relationship filled with passion an love click here http://www.retreatandheal.com/products.html

© copyright by Annie B Lawrence, Ph.D, CHT. Author of Love's Secret Live Your Life In Love, and co-author of 101 Ways to Improve Your Health. Love's Secret was awarded Finalist in Self Help Relationship by USA Book News and may be found on Amazon.com, Alibris, and http://www.retreatandheal.com/products.html

Retreat and Heal offers year round spiritual retreats for individuals, couples, groups and corporate retreats. Annie offers phone consultations to clients world wide for couples coaching and spiritual life coaching sessions.

NOTICE: Article(s) may be republished free of charge to relevant websites, as long as Copyright and Author Resource Box are included; and ALL Hyperlinks REMAIN intact and active.

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Love Come and Go?

2008-03-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

By Greg Rouse

Imagine this. You step up to the counter to place your order. After ogling the menu for several hours, playing the multiple options and combinations in your head you turn your attention to the person behind the counter.

You noticed that there were no prices next to the items on the menu but the place is packed and you are very ready to order. "I'm ready to order" you tell them. "Okay sir, what will it be?" They reply. That's when you do it up. I'll have the number three, take away the original sauce, add this instead, I want it medium to well with all the trimmings.

They punch all that into the register and look back at you with an honest grin. "One Heart Please!" That's right you pay up front. You pull it out, slap it up on the counter and they take it into their possession. "Right this way sir!" They lift the counter bar and bring you into the kitchen. You walk right in and are immediately caught off guard. Everyone who was in line before you was back there in the kitchen slaving over their own orders.

The clerk brings you to your station and tells you "Everything you need to prepare your order will come out here." And before you can prepare yourself here it comes; at a high rate of speed. Pieces are slapping you in the face, they're falling to the floor, they're landing in other customer's stations. So you roll up your sleeves and get to work. Hey, I paid for this! You bust your butt for several months trying to get everything in order. If you had known how much time went into putting it together you would have order something a lot simpler ... like a toss salad.

The days pass by like minutes and weeks like days. You find yourself nearing completion when all of a sudden your order just gets up and leaves your station. That's it, it just stands up and walks away. You struggle to stop it, but have no more energy left. It gets away. Just then you hear the clerk up front tell another customer. "One Heart Please!"
You're standing at your station still ready to "dig in" and you have no order. You look up at the sign hanging over the entry that reads "No Refunds!!" Tell me ... would you want to eat there again?

Maybe I'll get over it, but for now love has left a bitter taste in my mouth.

To learn more about what he can do for you in Health & Fitness, Martial Arts Training, Seminars and Special Programs visit http://www.ctctaekwondo.com/
He is also a minister in training who loves to reveal Truth to any eager and willing listener. If this is you and you would like to hear more, enter into discussion, schedule a visit or see where he'll be next visit myspace.com and search for heirtohisriches, or stop by the Living the Ministry Community Forums on the internet.
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Helpful Dating Advice for Shy Guys

2008-03-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

By Gillian Reynolds

The dating world can be a very intimidating place. It's even more so if you are a shy person. Trying to approach a woman you are interested in can become overwhelming if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in social situations. With the right dating advice for shy guys you can learn how to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman and ensure that she finds you charming and intriguing.
One of the best pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to carefully choose where you go to meet women. Most men consider a crowded bar or nightclub the optimum choice. It's not. If you are unsure about how to get a woman's attention, going to a crowded nightspot will make it even more challenging. Most nightclubs will be packed with other single men all looking for the same thing you are. You'd do much better to go to a relaxed spot where you know you'll have something to talk to a woman about. Pick a grocery store, hardware store or library. Not only will your competition be much less but it's a lot easier to get her attention by asking about something as non-threatening as how delicious the fruit is at this time of year or what book she recommends.
Listening can sometimes be a lost art form, particularly in the singles scene. One of the most helpful pieces of dating advice for shy guys is to listen when you are interested in a woman. Once you approach here, ensure that you listen carefully to what she says. If you've been nervous in the past about what you'll talk to an attractive woman about, that issue can be solved by listening and picking up on what she is saying. If she talks about her work, ask her questions about it. Not only will it keep the conversation flowing smoothly but your interest in her will really impress her too.
There's no shame in bringing along some support when you are venturing out to meet women. Bring along a single friend and look to them for encouragement. It can be much easier to approach a woman if you are with someone else. She'll likely also see you as less threatening. Once the conversation starts, your friend can politely excuse himself leaving you to focus just on the woman. This is great dating advice for shy guys because it can give them a little extra boost in confidence knowing they've got someone supportive nearby.
Women understand that not all men are lady killers. They are actually incredibly grateful for that fact. Once you get to know a woman, don't be afraid to tell her that you are a little shy. It will give her some insight into how you're feeling and it will make you feel better knowing she understands.
Even shy guys can have amazing success with beautiful women. Find out the best way to approach women and gain some insight into what women are really looking for in a dating partner. For more tips on how to approach interesting women and to keep their interest, visit this Helpful Site!
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How To Get Your Girlfriend Back

2008-03-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

By Penny Willowbrae

People tend to think that because girls are supposedly "more sensitive" than guys, they will find relationship break up harder to deal with. The fact is, guys often find it harder because they feel that they have a tougher image to live up to. Guys tend not to open up to their friends as much as girls do and this is why guys usually end up feeling more isolated and unsure of what to do.
This feeling of uncertainty about what to do is heightened when the guy really wants to get back together with his ex girlfriend. He doesn't want, or can't, to talk to his mates about it and his girlfriend isn't there to talk to either.
What strategy should a guy pursue in this situation? The gut reaction is usually to call up the ex girlfriend, to try to see her, perhaps even bombard her with flowers, text messages. You name it. Panic sets in. Is this the best response? Believe it or not, it's often usually better to do nothing, certainly at first. You need time to think calmly for one thing. You also have to look after yourself and keep yourself ticking over while you work out what to do. It won't look good if you do get a chance to see her and your place is a mess and you are falling apart. She'll be more impressed if you seem to be strong and coping. Similarly, if you don't contact her for a while she'll wonder what's happening and may even start contacting you. This is classic behaviour which we see time and again.
This is a small taster of what to do and what not to do in the short term. For lots more advice and downloads about developing a strategy to win back your ex girlfriend, see get your ex girlfriend back.
Health and Happiness contains many useful resources on getting your ex back, how to get back an ex girlfriend and developing a strategy to win back your girlfriend.
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The Top 5 Absolute Worst Things You Can Do In A Relationship

2008-02-27T23:45:00.001-08:00

By Darnell Hughes

There are so many little things you can do which can be devastating to a relationship it's wonder anyone is ever successful anymore! With divorce rate skyrocketing and break-ups happening all around you, there are a few things you can do to avoid avoid strengthen your relationships. Five of the worst mistakes people make are 100% avoidable, as you will soon see.

1) Cheating: promiscuity is the biggest indication of a weak character. If you can't seem to grasp the concept of monogamy and think that sleeping around is a good idea then, you my friend, deserve to be alone. If you think that you won't get caught, trust me, you will. Any normal person would be filled with guilt each and every time they looked into the eyes of the one they just cheated on! Imagine if the situation was reversed. How would you feel? I bet not to great about yourself. The rule is simple: don't cheat. When you commit to a relationship with someone, everyone else becomes OFF-LIMITS. If you think most women are OK with you getting involved with other women, even if there are no emotions attached, then you are grossly mistaken. If you want to date as many women as possible, move out to Utah and join a hudderite colony, they're always accepting new applicants! Honestly, there's no reason you should even want to compromise your partner's trust in you, it's the foundation to all successful relationships.

2) Lacking Trust: Ladies are generally said to be to worst at this then men, but guys are equally at fault. It's a well known FACT that women worry all the time. They worry about everything, men have no idea. They need to feel confident that you're not going to go out and start pursuing members of the opposite sex. If you constantly think that they are out cheating, then you need to look within yourself and make a few changes. It means you can see yourself doing that you what you think your partner is doing. Additionally, countless phone calls to check in on your partner, constantly nagging them to find out where he or she has been the instant you see them is exhausting and can really take a toll on a seemingly perfect relationship. If you can't trust your partner, you shouldn't be in that relationship, period.

3) Disregard for your partner's emotions: Men for the most part, avoid talking about feelings as much as possible. Not giving your partner the emotional support he or she needs is painful and damaging to their self-esteem. When the one you love has a difficult time seeing how much you DO love him or her, it hurts! Women thrive on emotions that men refuse to acknowledge. This unavoidable difference can be helped by simply listening and communicating with your partner, I mean really listening. Try putting some genuine thought into your response like a human instead of a robot.

4) Allowing fights to take over: Relationships are like roller-coasters, they have their fare share of ups and downs. During the "downs", often times both parties involved in the relationship are unhappy and therefore turmoil transpires. Every time two people are put together in a harsh and uncomfortable situation for any period of time, a little conflict is inevitable. Luckily it's healthy and perfectly natural. It gets the air cleared and identifies what's making our partners unhappy, and by that you are able to fix it. When fights escalate into wars, feelings get hurt and relationships start to unravel. Accept that there will be fights, but don't let them get out of hand, excessive conflict and stress ruins a lot of relationships, so don't let yours be one of them. It is also very important to not go to bed angry with each other.

5) Dormant and stale relations: Like all aspects in life, you need to spice up your relationship when it becomes too predictable and monotonous. I know that there are a few people out that who avoid change at all costs, but would it really kill you to do something out of the ordinary. Try things that you've never tried with your partner, but make sure they are up for it. Go to the zoo or the batting cages, just use your imagination and I guarantee you'll have a good time. Surprises are also nice, try having a bath drawn for your partner when they come home from a long day at the office. Don't forget what a blessing every second with your partner really is, and help your guy or girl feel that think your life is truly blessed whit them in it. Lack of spontaneity and creativity bogs relationships down to a halt which will eventually stop.

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